It is fitting that the seminal Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Cause and Effect” had its 30th anniversary last week because once again the Macalope feels caught in a time loop.
[Oh, yeah? Well, you try writing a new intro every week.]
As you may recall, expectations for third-generation iPhone SE sales were high. Very high. Because they were set that way. Set that way by stories that Apple could win over up to 1.4 billion Android users with the device. And not only were a billion-plus Android users going to line up for it, 40 percent of iPhone owners were going to switch to it, too!
Yes, it was nothing but blue skies for Apple’s new device! Surely it would set records as people ditched Android and iPhone alike to buy the plucky little phone that cou-
Wow, that was quick.
Jim, is that a record? The Macalope is going to check with Jim the stats guy to see if that’s a record. He won’t get back to you about that as Jim is not a real person, the Macalope does not have a “stats guy”.
Yes, our good friends at Nikkei Asia are back with more tales of iPhone production cuts to astonish. Nikkei is the same outfit that four years ago told us Apple was cutting iPhone X production by a whopping 50 percent because it was such a loser. The iPhone X, as you may recall, went on to sell extremely well.
Just as you should not have believed the lofty expectations of [pretends to check calendar] two weeks ago, you should probably also not believe the dire warnings of poor demand now. No one knows what Apple’s expectations for sales were. Just because those of others were lofty doesn’t mean the company is disappointed.
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But production cuts aren’t the only thing that’s making the Macalope wonder if he knocked that glass off the nightstand before. Apple might want to try decompressing the shuttle bay instead of using the tractor beam because…
“Dutch watchdog continues to cash out as it fines Apple tenth time over App Store policy”
The Macalope doesn’t know about you but he settles all his €5-million debts promptly. You don’t want that to go on for long. €5 million here, €5 million there and pretty soon you’re talking about real money.
Well, don’t you think eventually for even Apple? No? Okay, maybe not. Carry on, Apple.
It does seem that the company may actually be getting close to satisfying Dutch regulators, so maybe it’ll break out of that time loop soon.
Cheers to the company if it manages to get out of that destructive cycle.
…
Get it? Because Kelsey Grammer? Yeah, you got it.
